How are we, my Friday feathered friends?

Yesterday I learnt about how annoying deliciously ironic it is that the thing that sucks most can so often end up morphing into the best thing that ever happened (even though at the time it was awful and we still wouldn’t do it again).

--- I’ve had to get over my dislike of asking for help.

Of course asking for help is something I’m constantly advising other people to do.

I just don’t like doing it myself. And now I’ve had to. A lot.

You find out who your friends are when you can’t operate a pair of tweezers. :)

Seriously. I’ve had to lean on my friends. To test how much my gentleman friend can put up with me (answer: a lot)

--- I get stuff done. Like a madwoman.

When you can only work a little, you do it right.

In the past few weeks I’ve finished projects that normally would have taken way, way longer. Because I’m focused. I have to be.

In fact, there’s no time not to be.

We’ve transformed the way everyone on my team communicates with each other.

It’s knocking me out. In a good way.

--- What do you do when you feel like dirt.

Even though I have no idea why I feel like dirt, this is where I am right now and baby, that’s how it is. For now. Not forever. Just right now.

This feeling of dirt doesn’t define me. It’s not the whole of who I am. It’s just the thing I’m dealing with right now. Even though I hate feeling like dirt, I’m allowed to hate it as much as I want.

Wow. No kidding. Of course you feel like dirt after X happened. That’s a really hard thing to go through. And you’re catching up on sleep. Andyou’ve been dealing with all these other things. And things are changing in your life like crazy now. Who wouldn’t feel like dirt right now?

This is my personal definition of feeling like dirt. And now that I know what it looks like or sounds like or feels like, I can recognize it when it comes up.

Even though I have no idea how long it will take to stop feeling like dirt, I’m going to give myself as much support as I can stand right now. And I’m reminding myself that I am not my thoughts and feelings.

I am larger than all of my thoughts and feelings. I am the being that brings these thoughts and feelings into existence, and I can learn to interact with them instead of being the innocent bystander who keeps getting knocked over by them.

Sure, this too shall pass and all that. But in the meantime — while I’m in it — I’m willing to receive whatever support I can. I am willing to get better at accessing hidden sources of support that fit what I need.

I’m ready for support and kindness from the people in my life … and in the meantime, I’m going to practice giving it to myself because that’s where it starts.

What I would love: thoughts, musings, reactions related to the stuff I’m talking about and the sovereignty thing in general.

What I’d rather not have: critique of the topic, to have my stuff judged or psychoanalyzed, advice.

That's it.

It’s a lot. It’s enough.